welp, i'm babysitting mallory today- and her ridiculously obnoxious friend is over. i want to slap her. horrible, right? 

things have been OK lately, i've been up and down... yesterday was my birthday. i woke up, no one was home. i forced my dad and sister to take me out to lunch. then i laid at erik's house for a while. he got me a tiffany's bracelet. that was the best part of the day. when we came back to my house, my mom called from her retreat and proceeded to bitch me out about my spending habits. then meri, evan, erik, and i went out to stir crazy for dinner and basically came back and sat at my house. 

my birthday was okay. 
my parents were not the nicest.
maybe im selfish, but i kindof hoped that there would have been something fun and memorable that happened on my birthday. i aslo kindof hoped my mom wouldn't turn me into a teary-eyed mess on my birthday. 

i guess my birthday is never going to be something big and special. it never has been, and it never will be. oh well. i think i'm going to go finish reading. and wait for erik to come over.

Current Location: home
Current Mood: uncomfortable
Current Music: john mayer-- gravity.

yeahh so. tonight was a-okay. things with erik are gradually getting better.
it's funny how now i'm leaving for a week. 
fuck life sometimes. 

anyways. 
i decided to take control of the meds situation. i decided to turn away from authority and alter the meds to my liking. i felt fine today. so i think it's okay. :)

tonight was the ever so wonderful chrobik bonfire. of course there were a million druken kids and weed wafting towards you the minute you stepped into the backyard. however, i did not partake in any of these activities. i was quite proud of myself, actually. woo! PROPS TO ME! 

on another note, karilynn has completely fallen off the deep end. i mean, i've know her my whole entire life... she's been more than just a cousin, but a best friend. and suddenly she's beating the shit out of her mom, doing cocaine and ecstasy, dropping out of school, and living with her thirty year old friends. 
what. the. fuck.

she completely lost it. i blame half of it on her moron of a father. who the hell is he? joe vicari. he thinks he's the savior of all... my ass. if he hadn't tried to literally perform his own version of an exorcism on her, kidnapped her and moved to indiana, i feel as though she might not be half as insane. 

the man's a fuck up. you can tell the minute you see his mullet... literally.
i don't really know how to talk to her. i can't actually... number one, her cell was turned off because she couldnt pay it, and number two, she'd probably be too coked out to focus.

i hate drugs.
hard drugs.
they ruin people.
they ruin families.
they ruin friends.

WELL i just tried VEET to berid me of my manliness... aka my hairy ass body. 
let's just say, i don't think i'll ever have a positive reaction to any sort of hair removal. however, i feel as though the red bumps will subside in a day or two. 

i'm doing a shitload tomorrow:
i'm taking thy dog to the breeder to be babysat (it beats the kennel) 
i'm going out to lunch with my friends (with $5.09 in the bank)
i'm going to mallory's dance recital (7:00, erik is forced to come as well)
i'm going out to dinner with madre, dee, erik, and mal

oh joyous day.
i think i'll go to bed.  

OH YEAH!! so erik finally fucking admitted that his brother was gay. 
i knew it the whole time we've been dating, i was just waiting for him to tell me.
we were talking about his brothers' love lives... 

me: does alex have a girlfriend?
erik: no.
me: what about justin?
erik: not that i know of.
me: anddd sean?
erik: sean's gay.
me: it took you long enough to tell me!
erik: well, i thought you knew already. and you obviously did.
me: yeah but STILL, its been seven months and you havent said one word about it.
erik: if you think im embarassed about it, im not. sean's cool. he's the shit.
me: yes senor. this i know. 

okay im done i think i just need to sleep
im starting to be creepy

Current Location: home on the range
Current Mood: monotone
Current Music: "walk this way" --aerosmith